Thank God, there’s one game left. This team has to go to someone else—please, God, anyone!
Look at these two fucking frauds: our Actress GM and Pimp President, hiding behind their fancy glass box, too scared to let a single raindrop mess up their heads. Why? Because they’re not man enough to step onto the field and call anyone out on their bullshit—because they’re just as full of shit themselves.
The announcers called it out all game. The fans saw it, we saw it, and the chants said it loud and clear: SELL THE TEAM! It wasn’t just during the game; it carried into the Amazon post-game and spilled out onto the streets of Chicago. And how did the Bears respond? By pulling the ultimate coward bitch move—they had security move the fans away. Let me say that again: they kicked out the only people still giving a shit about this team. Absolute cowards.
You heard the chants. I heard the chants. The announcers heard the chants. SELL THE TEAM! It’s not just a slogan anymore; it’s the battle cry of every Bears fan who’s tired of being lied to, let down, and gaslit into thinking this team is remotely salvageable. This team is so broken it’s not even funny anymore.
The Fraud Parade
Instead of focusing on building a winning team, what are we talking about? The Actress GM’s pathetic roster. His pre-game bullshit interviews. The Pimp President is spouting nonsense. And now, at 4-12, the Bears’ social media team is hyping Simone Biles’ outfit instead of addressing the disaster on the field. Meanwhile, the McCaskeys? They’re in the back at their dry cleaner, doing absolutely fucking nothing.
Make no mistake: they’re number one on the blame list. These clowns signed the checks. They hired these frauds. And now they’re sitting back, letting this shitshow run on autopilot. It’s not just disgusting—it’s disgraceful.
The truth? They need to nuke this entire operation to make this team relevant.
The Worst Franchise in the NFL
Remember when we used to laugh at the Browns and Lions? Guess what? We’re worse than both of them now! Officially.
Where the fuck is our talent? Seattle has Witherspoon out there flying around at 180 pounds like a young Ronnie Lott while our defense is getting bullied like it’s amateur hour. Tremaine Edmunds is stealing $50 million to be invisible every goddamn play.
Watching him out there is like watching Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap—he’s on the field one second, then poof, he’s gone, leaping into another timeline where he might actually make a tackle. Do you think Urlacher or Briggs would tolerate this shit? Not in a million fucking years.
And the offense? Caleb Williams—this poor bastard—is getting sacked so much that he probably wakes up screaming, “67 times!” in his sleep. Sixty-seven sacks. That’s over 4 sacks per game! This line was built by our Actress GM, who thinks drafting linemen and casting for Days of Our Lives is the same. 67 Sacks? Bro, this Actress, and Pimp should’ve been fired yesterday.
Seattle was out there running 8 yards per play while we forgot how to tackle. Witherspoon? He was smoking fools. Meanwhile, our defense looked like they were auditioning for a sitcom called Missed Assignments.
Then there’s Stevenson out here talking shit like he’s still in high school. Bro, go home. You’re embarrassing yourself and the rest of us. And can we fire the coaching staff already? And let’s talk about the fucking play-calling. Screen passes, quick throws, more screen passes—like we’re trying to make for the most predictable offense. This is the “McVay” offense, right?
Thomas Brown is out here complaining about communication issues in Week 16. What the fuck have you been doing all this time and during training camp? This dude is lost and lost the team in only 4 weeks.
This roster might be one of the worst I’ve ever seen. It’s so bad that it makes Marc Trestman’s teams look like Super Bowl contenders. And the players? Checked out weeks ago. Who can blame them? The leadership is non-existent, and the culture is toxic. This isn’t just a bad season; it’s a goddamn catastrophe.
The McCaskeys: A Masterclass in Failure
The McCaskeys have turned a proud, historic NFL franchise into a goddamn punchline. Do you want to talk about Nepo Babies? These clowns wrote the manual.
This isn’t just bad ownership—it’s generational incompetence. They hired an Actress GM, a Pimp President, and now we’ve got Ben Johnson making demands like he’s Al Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon.
Guess what? The McCaskeys won’t meet a single demand because they don’t give a shit. They don’t care about the fans, the players, or the city. All they care about is keeping their dry cleaners spotless while the franchise burns to the fucking ground.
I’ve called this disaster every step of the way. The McCaskeys? Trash.
The Pimp President? Trash.
The Actress GM? Trash.
This roster? Trash.
This season has been a Golden Globe winner for Worst Team Ever. And the only thing worse than watching this shit is imagining another season under the McCaskeys. This will probably happen when they hire someone like Joe Brady or someone else out of desperation.
A New Hope
One more game. One more week of suffering. And then we get to watch Green Bay—a real football team—show us what competence looks like.
The only good thing about next week? The season will finally fucking end. But nothing will change unless the McCaskeys dump this sail barge of failure. This team will stay broken forever. And forever? Forever is a long goddamn time.
So, I’ll say it again for the people in the back: SELL THE TEAM. Until they do, nothing changes.
To A Happy New Year, Green Bay, and God help us all.
