The Bears Are DOA, Plain and Simple

Vikings 30, Bears 12

This jackpot of shit has got to go. And it starts with the turd in the middle. Sell the team, throw the rest of the trash out, and start over. That’s the only play left for this franchise. Honestly, I wish the Jersey Drones would make a pitstop in Chicago and take these jerkoffs away.

Sorry for the delay. Holiday shopping, work, and bottling my fucking frustration from Monday have kept me busy. But eight losses in a row? This exceeds even my expectations—and I went into this season predicting complete disaster. Fuck! The Vikings didn’t even play that well.

Way before these “media gurus” jumped on the bandwagon, I told you—this team is a coffin floating in the Indian Ocean. Now, after months of denial, the media heads are finally catching up.

Welcome to the party, folks. Too bad the Bears have been dead on arrival for weeks.


Caleb Williams Is Dying Before Your Eyes

Caleb Williams is dying from the inside out because he chose to tough this massacre out. I get it—he’s a professional. I understand he’s missing throws and overthrowing wide-open players, but this fucking organization is killing him in front of the entire NFL.

Would you be able to concentrate while getting the shit kicked out of you weekly? I don’t think so.

14-34 with this Actress GM and her so-called “deep” team. Fuck you. Pick up your purse and leave. You’re not good at football. The inevitable “You’re Fired” press conference will be worth cracking open an 18-year Bushmills.

Carl Williams? Absolutely right for not wanting Caleb near the Bears. RG3 nailed it too. And guess what? Nobody’s talking shit to them now.


A Draft Disaster

Let’s talk about Amegadjie. He looks like shit—lost, confused, out of his depth, and getting pushed back more than Doctor Who. And this is who our Actress GM drafted in the third round? Who the fuck is scouting these kids? Who vetted this clown show of a scouting staff?

Amegadjie is a developmental project at best, and he is practice squad material. The only reason he got drafted is that he happens to look like Ryan Poles. That’s it.

Three games left, and we’re witnessing history in real time—but not the good kind. A franchise, already drowning in lows, is about to hit rock bottom. A hieroglyphic of shit.

No wonder aliens haven’t visited Earth. They must’ve caught a Bears game and thought, “No thanks, left blinker—next planet.”


No Leadership, No Direction

Leadership? Nonexistent. Culture? A joke. This team is run like a bullshit NBA squad—multi-colored hardwood floors, all flash, no fundamentals. They care more about their swag, Captain patches, and fashion shows than winning football games. And guess what? They’re losing. Every. Single. Week.

Thomas Brown? Nice guy, sure. But he’s a band-aid on a dismembered leg. This dumb fucking ownership, that pimp president, and our Actress GM will toss him under the bus at the end of the season. That’s what cowards do.


Ownership Clown Show

Let’s talk about George McCaskey. The ninth-wealthiest team in the NFL is owned by a guy who looks like the dude checking aisles to make sure you’re not vaping. Is this guy supposed to turn the Bears around? Are you kidding me?

The Bears are still being run like a fucking dry-cleaning business. They don’t care about winning. They care about keeping the lights on and cashing checks.

The NFL should step in and ask: Do the Bears even want to be a football team anymore?

If not, start blacking out these games. Get the other 31 owners to stage a Michael Corleone/Fredo intervention and tell him to shape it the fuck up or ship out.


Clean House Bro

The solution is simple: Throw the pimp president and Actress GM in the trash. McCaskey, please find someone who knows football. Someone like Kyle Shanahan—a real leader with an offensive mind, a real GM, and a plan.

Is he the absolute answer? No. But at least it’s a fucking start somewhere, anywhere. Just like Belichick, who these clowns blew off because they were afraid he’d remind the McCaskeys how daily fucking stupid they really are.

Leadership means hiring people more intelligent than you, giving them the tools to succeed, and getting the fuck out of their way. Not editing curse words out of “Hard Knocks,” you fuckhand.

Pay whatever it takes. Do it, or sell the team and let someone else handle this mess. The Yorks did it. The Waltons did it. The Hunts are doing it in Kansas City. Just do it.


Another Sell the Fucking Team Plea

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again and again and again: sell the fucking team. Sell it to someone who gives a shit. Sell it to someone who honors the legacy of one of the NFL’s oldest franchises.

Because what we’re watching isn’t football. It’s a fucking disgrace.

This isn’t just about the fans—it’s about the city of Chicago. We deserve better. The NFL deserves better. Hell, the sport deserves better.

If you’re still hanging on, still watching this shitshow every week, know this: you’re not alone.

Sell the team or fix it—and get the fuck out of the way.

On to Detroit and Destruction. Let’s get this over with.


As of Today, the Chicago Bears are valued at approximately $6.4 billion.

We're waiting…