You Cannot Hide Behind A Bag of Shit
The 15-36 actress GM is reaching again.
Fifteen wins. Thirty-six losses. And yet, somehow, the GM of the Chicago Bears keeps selling Hopium, the city of Chicago, and Bears fans on his grand master plan like he's some roster-building genius. He's not.
Yes, he's landed some solid free agents. Yes, they bring leadership. But let's not get it twisted. These are players other teams drafted, developed, and got the best years out of because those teams have competent GMs who know how to scout and build through the draft. Meanwhile, our guy? He's over here duct-taping together a roster of 30+ year-olds, most with injury histories and large salaries, and calling it a foundation.
This screams more red flags than The Running of the Bulls.
And yet, the Chicago media, the same people who were sharpening their pitchforks two months ago, have now done a complete 180. Suddenly, he's "making moves" and "aggressively improving the team." Give me a fucking break. The writing is on the wall, and it's written in bright red letters: He still can't evaluate and build a team for shit.
Look around the league. The Eagles, Chiefs, and Ben Johnson's old boss in Detroit, Brad Holmes, are not playing this game. They don't build their offensive and defensive lines through overpriced, past-their-prime free agents. They draft well. They develop their own talent. They don't need to drop a bag on someone else's leftovers because they get it right the first time. And that's why they're always in the hunt while the Bears are out here trying to polish another offseason turd.
And now, because the media wants something to sell, we're about to hear two straight months of how the Bears "may" go after a running back or tight end with the 10th overall pick. Just get the fuck outta here already.
Meanwhile, let's talk about the Kansas City pipeline from which he supposedly came. If he was really such a key part and so-fucking clever of their dynasty, then where are the Mahomes-level players? Where's our Marcus Peters? Tyreek Hill? Our Travis Kelce? Our Chris Jones? The answer is simple, he never drafted those guys! That was Pioli, Dorsey, and Veach. This guy just happened to be in the building. That's it.
And in 43 days, we'll see once again just how full of shit he really is. The draft is his final exam, and let me tell you, I don't trust this guy to pass a pop quiz.
He's Going To Fuck This Up, Again
This actress GM needs to be relieved of his command immediately, just like Denzel did to Gene Hackman in Crimson Tide. (RIP, Mr. Hackman.)
Because if history has taught us anything, you can't win in this league if you keep making the same dumb mistakes year after year and expecting different results. And I'm willing to bet that by the time the draft is over, we're all going to be sitting here saying the same thing we always do: How the fuck did he mess this up again?
As of Today, the Chicago Bears are valued at approximately $6.4 billion.
We're waiting…
