Matt Eberlose is Just Matt Nagy With Hair
Before we kick things off, let's give a big shoutout to masonbrooks_412 on Instagram for dropping the perfect one-liner. That comment was so fire I had to use it for this post. I hope you don't mind, bro!
Continuity, Consistency, and Communication = 11-26!
As my mother used to say after I'd get into trouble at school: "You believe this shit?" Well, that's exactly how I'm feeling right now because, according to Bleacher Nation, Eberlose—is about to trot out the same offensive line this Sunday against the Colts. Yes, the same line that let poor Caleb get absolutely destroyed on national television. The same line that allowed 36 pressures, no offensive push or running game. What's Eberlose's brilliant solution? Three magical C-words: Continuity, Consistency, and Communication.
Really, bro? That's your solution? Three fucking C's words from a Webster's Dictionary? I bet you $1 he scribbled those words on a napkin the night before and kept it in his pocket for the press conference, just in case he forgot. Hell, he's probably still carrying that napkin around right now as you're reading this.
So, let me get this shit straight—you watched your quarterback get massacred, zero push from the offensive line, and no running game to speak of, and your answer is something that sounds like it came from a break room poster? That's it? You're just going to run the same offensive line out there again? What are we even doing here? You're ruining careers, and it's not just Caleb's. This is what happens when ownership (McCaskeys) goes the cheap route.
Eberlose isn't just Matt Nagy 2.0—he's Matt Nagy with hair. It's the same clueless approach, the same empty buzzwords, just a different face. And don't even get me started on accountability (or lack thereof). We're two weeks into the season, and he's already throwing his players under the bus.
This is what you pay for what you get, so here's a fun comparison for you: look at the Chargers. Over the last decade, they hired Brandon Staley, Anthony Lynn, and Mike McCoy because the Spanos family didn't want to spend the money to bring in a top-tier coach. What did that get them? Years of losing football, ruined careers, and constant agony for their fanbase. But then, one day, they woke up.
The Chargers finally opened their eyes—and their checkbooks. They brought in Jim Harbaugh, threw $20 million a year at him, and guess what? They're 2-0, and they're having the time of their lives out there. Look what Harbaugh did in San Francisco—he even got Colin Kaepernick to a Super Bowl! That happens when you hire someone who knows what they're doing. The Chargers got tired of losing, had no asses in the seats, and made an actual move.
Meanwhile, In Chicago…And what do we get? We get Eberlose. We get Nagy. We get John Fox (I'm still sorry for how loud I screamed when that hire was announced) and Marc Trestman. It's the never-ending cycle of hiring GMs and coaches who aren't cut out for the job. You can bet your bottom dollar the McCaskeys will never spend the money to bring in someone with actual football acumen. Instead, they'll keep the Ponzi scheme rolling, hire on the cheap, and continue to serve up the same dumpster fire of a product every Sunday.
And let's be honest—the media isn't going to call it out either. None of the broadcasters will say this live on air because they've got jobs to protect. But they know the truth. We all know the truth. It's a shit product on and off the field, and it's not going to change until these rats sell the team.
Ok, you don't want to hire someone new and fresh, but imagine for a second if the Bears had hired Jim Harbaugh. Or Mike McDaniel? Or Dan Quinn? Hell, why not go all-in and make a serious push for Mike Tomlin or Sean McVay (who I love, as a coach, of course)? How about a genuine GM and real President (don't worry, I got a blog post for you, Brother)? Think about how different this team would look right now. But no. Instead, we get Eberlose and his fucking attention to losing.
Look, I'm not here to bash the players. These guys care. They're out there grinding, trying to live their NFL dreams, hoping to win a Super Bowl. But a coaching staff is shredding their dreams and an ownership that doesn't have their best interests at heart—or ours. It's not that the players don't care; they're being led by a staff and management team that only cares about the bottom line.
Here's my challenge to you: Watch the players' faces this Sunday when they take on the Colts. Even if they manage to win, look closely. You'll still see it—it's death by a thousand cuts.
We're waiting…
