Caleb’s Dad Knows The Truth: This Ship Is Sinking
I fucking told you all this months ago, and no one wanted to listen.
We're eight weeks into the season, and whispers are already swirling about sending Eberlose packing. Fucking hilarious, right? To all those who insisted we were a great team on the verge of greatness—what happened to the talk about building a team? Remember when this clown said, "Get your track shoes on because we're running"? Well, after Washington, I guess we're running straight into a brick wall!
Now, everyone’s doing a 180. Eberflus, who some thought would be our savior, looks like he’s about to get run out of town faster than Marc Trestman can say, "Hello, LA Chargers!" Remember him? (By the way, he went to work for someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing.) It’s laughable. To those who kept swearing, "We're close, we're building," it’s a fucking joke now.
The ship is sinking, and the only guy with the guts to call it out besides me is Caleb Williams' dad! Carl knew what everyone else was afraid to admit, including the cute media: his son wouldn’t even think about stepping foot in Chicago in a couple of years if things stayed this way. And now he’s airing it all out on Twitter for the world to see. Hey, actress GM and McCaskeys, it’s time to change these sheets because this bed-shitting mess has been brewing for a while!
Let’s talk about this actress GM for a second. He passed on Jim Harbaugh. Jim freakin' Harbaugh! He passed on Dan Quinn! And who did we get stuck with? Eberlose. Seriously, who makes that choice? If he was so fucking bad now, why didn’t we get rid of him already?
Eberlose has been shitting the bed for years, and no one has had the courage to admit it except Caleb Williams' dad and me. Now it seems management is going to backpedal to Caleb and his dad because if this continues into his rookie contract, Carl and Caleb are going to be like, “Fuck you, peace, we’re out.” He’ll sign with a team and owner who knows what the fuck they’re doing, and he’ll probably win a Super Bowl because he has the talent to do it.
Now we’re left with this coaching drama that’s going to drag out for the next nine fucking weeks, and it’s all on this actress GM for keeping him here. Chicago hasn’t had an elite QB in over 70-plus years, and now we have a potential star like Caleb, but we’re screwing it up before he even really gets his feet wet.
Next up, we face Arizona, with Kyler Murray and a head coach who actually knows what he’s doing. Meanwhile, Eberlose and that offensive line? They’re going to get flattened. We’re fucked, plain and simple. When the second half of this season falls apart like the Titanic, everyone will be watching to see how this actress GM and the McCaskeys handle it. Spoiler alert: it will be a full diaper floating in space.
And what about Ben Johnson from Detroit or Bobby Slowik possibly coming here next season? Come on! Fuck outta here! Do you really think these offensive geniuses are going to risk their careers for a dumpster fire in Chicago? Ask them man to man over a beer if they want to come here, and they’ll tell you, “Get the fuck outta here,” and laugh YOU out of the bar. They’ve seen what it’s like under this “actress GM” and the McCaskeys. There’s no way they’re taking that risk.
This “rebuilding” pillow talk? It’s only the beginning. We’ve got the NFC West and six division games left—get ready for the mess to get messier. Arizona is coming like that dude from *Salem’s Lot,* and it’s not going to be pretty.
We're waiting…
