Fifteen wins. Thirty-six losses. And yet, somehow, the GM of the Chicago Bears keeps selling Hopium, the city of Chicago, and Bears fans

But here's the real question: Will this dysfunctional ownership group let him actually run the team?

The Bears are now sitting at the edge of a franchise-defining offseason, and we're left wondering: are these dumbasses actually going to follow the formula.

So, Ben, you took the job. The job you’ve coveted, right? This is it—the gig that’s supposed to put your stamp on the NFL. But let’s be real here: Was it worth it?

Instead of patting ourselves on the back for beating the Packers in a meaningless game, can we actually focus on the bigger picture?

Thank God, there’s one game left. This team has to go to someone else—please, God, anyone!

If this actress GM doesn’t know how to build a winning team, then the McCaskeys might as well hire Woody Johnson’s kid.

Way before these “media gurus” jumped on the bandwagon, I told you—this team is a coffin floating in the Indian Ocean.

The Chicago Bears are being run into the ground like the meteor that destroyed the dinosaurs.

Thanks to the magic of AI and ChatGPT, I’ve created a blueprint for you. You’re welcome.

One win down (goodnight, Eberlose), three more to go until this steaming Bento Box of Bullshit gets hurled into the void where it belongs.

That's what Vikings head coach Kevin O'Connell probably whispered to Caleb Williams as he walked off the field after the Bears' latest shitbox.

How much more evidence do we need before this Trifecta of Shit—the coach, GM, and president—get tossed out on their asses?

You saw it; I saw it. Bears fans running for the exits and their lives due to watching shit football.

It’s like watching a train wreck you can’t look away from, except it happens every Sunday.

I fucking told you all this months ago, and no one wanted to listen.

And after a bye week, so we could wait even longer to see what absolute horseshit looks like?

The Bears looked great—of course they did! Jacksonville sucks

Now, I know some of you were holding your breath before this one. It's the Bears, after all. But today, we finally saw what a functioning offense looks like.

It took me a few days to write this because I’m still a little amazed the Bears actually won.